Pride Month: There's a party on Saturday - but the battle is far from over

- I've got a male boyfriend!

This is how Erni Kristiansen came out to his mother. It wasn't planned – but when he found love, he just said it like it was.

- I've got a male boyfriend!

In his younger years, he had no idea he was into guys.

– I didn't know that I was homosexual. In my youth I experimented and had female girlfriends. Later I was with a man and started thinking that I might be bisexual, says Erni Kristiansen.

But that changed quite quickly.

– After a while I just thought: “Okay, I think I’m actually into men – and not both sexes.”

We went for a walk with Erni Kristiansen to record a podcast with him. During the conversation, he talked about his work at Sipineq+, his experiences with discrimination – and how he tackles hatred without losing courage. Listen to the full podcast in Greenlandic below.

Erni is a qualified primary school teacher, and it was during his studies at Ilinniarfissuaq in the early 2010s that he really decided.

– I said to myself: “I won’t be with women again.”

And have you been since?

– Nope!

Do you regret it?

– Never! he says with a laugh.

For Erni, being gay wasn't that strange. He grew up in the village of Tasiusaq near Upernavik – where a teacher was gay, his uncle is gay, and his father's cousin is lesbian.

– It's never been a problem for me. It just feels natural that I have a boyfriend in my way.

No recipe 

But it's not like that for everyone. – I know several people who have been totally nervous about jumping out. Some cried when they had to tell their family, says Erni.

Support and acceptance mean everything – but not everyone gets it.

– There are people whose families don't accept them. Some hide it from grandparents, even though their parents know it.

And it can be really hard.

– Some fear that their friends, beloved family or siblings will abandon them. So they keep it a secret instead.

There is no one right way to jump out, says Erni. “There is no universal recipe for how to jump out. It depends on the individual person, the family, the place.

-That's why it's an individual experiment. "How am I doing? How is my family? How are my acquaintances, and how would it be best for me to come out?" It's very individual.

Slapping and fighting

Today, Erni is a board member of the LGBTQIA+ organization Sipineq+, which was founded a few years ago. For Erni, getting involved was natural.

–I have good friends, my family accepts me. I have a safe everyday life myself. But there are some who don't have the same resources. And are fighting to have a better everyday life. I would like to fight for them. That's why I have become part of Sipineq+, says Erni.

However, he has experienced discrimination himself. A few years ago he was in Sisimiut and out at a tavern.

- A man asked me: "Are you gay?" I said yes – and then he slapped me. I became insecure and have decided that I will never go out in Sisimiut again.

There is still much to fight for, including legally. Sipineq+ has, among other things, published a report together with the Danish Council for Human Rights and the Danish Institute for Human Rights. They have also worked on developing Greenlandic LGBTQIA+ terms. The work does not stop here.

Sipineq+'s next goal is, among other things, to ensure better rights for transgender people - so that they can access hormone treatment in Greenland - and for male homosexual couples, so that they have the opportunity to be recognized as co-fathers.

The dream of a child

For Erni, the match is also about something very personal.

– My big dream has always been to have a child, says Erni.

But the law does not allow gay men to automatically obtain co-paternity. If his partner becomes the biological father, Erni has no legal rights, such as maternity leave – unless he adopts the child. This does not apply to lesbian couples, who already have that right.

– At the very least, it should be possible to be a co-father in law. The thought that I have no rights if something happens to my partner makes me sad. It makes me feel really bad, he says seriously.

Sipineq+ has already brought the matter before the Greenland Committee in the Danish Parliament, and the process is underway – but there is no guarantee as to how long it will take.

"Right now the dream of having children is dead. But if the law is changed, it might be resurrected," says Erni.

Ready for r e g n b u e party

Fortunately, there are also lots of good things. Several parents of LGBTQIA+ teenagers have become members of Sipineq+. And on Saturday, this year's Pride Parade kicks off in Nuuk.

– We are really looking forward to it!

The board has put in a lot of hours into the planning, and sponsorship support has been obtained both domestically and from abroad.

There will be a Sami drag king from Finland, a drag queen from Tasiilaq and a DJ all the way from Iqaluit. The party starts in the afternoon and lasts until late at night. and the party lasts from afternoon to night!

– We just hope that the weather cooperates and that Air Greenland's planes fly, laughs Erni.

But there is one thing in particular he is looking forward to.

– I am most looking forward to the drag show with the guests from Tasiilaq and Finland. It will be fantastic!